I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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