im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
