oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
