i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
