How'd it feel making her break her religion?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
