You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
