it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
