So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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