At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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