But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
