in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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