Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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