So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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