SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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