yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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