Will you blow on my dice?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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