32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize