Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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