We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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