I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
