I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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