TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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