Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
