why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
