My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
