yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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