They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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