do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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