i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
