Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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