Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
