finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
