did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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