I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize