you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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