We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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