You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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