omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
