Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
