Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
