He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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