I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
