Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
