I wish you could order shots online.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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