do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
operation harelip BJ is a go
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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