But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
