Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
