i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
