he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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