Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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