'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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