So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
