KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
