ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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