it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
