this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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