I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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