Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
