I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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