Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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