not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
