it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
