OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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