I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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