I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
