Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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