i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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