somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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