butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
